Day 4 Recap: Milwaukee

*Updating from a Panera Bread in Lawrence, KS.

No excuses, here’s Milwaukee.

Dan: After waking up Monday morning in Chi-town, Dave and I ran four miles to burn off a small portion of what we’ve been destorying our bodies with.
Dave: Our sweat definitely smelled like pizza, hot dogs, beer, and chili fries. Keep in mind this was BEFORE we even stepped foot outside of Andrew’s apartment.
Dan: It was a quality run. Satisfying enough to set up an appetite for….

Dave: Sultan’s Market, home of the “Best Falafel in Chicago.” It was DEELISH.
Dan: Dave ordered two lunches: falafel and schwerma. Dave, please don’t use the word “deelish” anymore. Thanks.

Dave: Two hour drive to Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Dan: We passed the “Mars Cheese Castle.” I wanted to stop for cheese until my stomach told me something along the lines of: “Blurgle, blurgle, blurgle….no.”

Dave: We stayed here at my buddy Ethan’s place. I know him from USC.
Dan: Just from being around two Trojans, I’m pretty sure I run the risk of being investigated by the NCAA*.

*Topical Humor.

Dan: Outside Miller Park, which Bill Simmons calls a “Giant Space Vulva.”
Dave: What’s a vulva?

Dave: They tailgate at Miller Park before every game
Dan: Somehow all of the sausage, cheese fries, and beer has left the populace of Milwaukee somewhat overweight. Flabbergasting.

Dan: A dollar for a hot dog and a dollar for a soda.
Dave: I did my patriotic duty and stuffed my face at a great value.

Dave: Us with our beer and brats.
Dan: Dave was disappointed with his Miller Lite, which puts him into an elite club of “Most People.”

Dan: This guy sang the national anthem with this questionable audio device.
Dave: He then landed a plane, did a football sideline report in 1993, and took a fast food drive-thru. order.

Dave: Dan posing questionably in a giant glove and with a wax figure of Prince Fielder.
Dan: This is from the upcoming Foul Balls fashion line, made up mostly of clothes that smell like old beer, sweat, and broken dreams.

Dan: A car, seemingly lost, appeared on the field between innings.
Dave: GPS is still a questionable science at best. I just like that nobody appeared fazed at the scene.

Dave: Eric Gagne, a $10 million setup man. Value!
Dan: I wonder if he thought that beyond the beer and the brats, Miller Park was famous for concession injections.

Dan: This is Dave holding his nuts.
Dave: Tee hee.

Dan: The sausages in some sort of kids playpen.
Dave: I’m not entirely comfortable knowing sausages grow fuller facial hair than I do.

Dave: Us on the first base line.
Dan: Did you know that that old Brewer glove logo is actually an “m” and a “b?” I had no idea.

Dan: This is what beer looks like, in case you were wondering.
Dave: Call me crazy, but Miller Park Miller Lite should taste a little like beer.

Dan: I thought the stadium was fine, but not much more than that, kind of cavernous and a little disappointing.
Dave: What’s a vulva?

Dave: What. The. Hell.
Dan: Miller Park!

Soon: St Louee

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